I've Been Hysteric Recently

Having gone to bed at 3:00am this morning, I got up so late and found it was almost noon. Unlike usual, Amos wasn't at home. I gave him a phone call to make sure that everything was alright and he told me that he would be back in one and half hour.

I feel so bored and depressed during the past few days for knowing that we had to wait more than one month to get the first DM of our application for immigration to Canada. I've been trying to make myself busy, such as running a TaoBao E-commerce online shop, baking cake and contact different venders to get more products' information. But I still feel so bad that I'm always wanting to quarrel with someone.

It's already been 12 days since the immigration authority got our application. However, the online status didn't change at all. I heard from some people who also surf the http://canadameet.com that some of the VOs had gone on summer vacation, which might be the reason why the processing time of all application had slown down recently.

Amos came home late in the evening at 11:30pm, which made me a little bit angry. He said because of our fee of application, he had been a bit short of money this month. He was working all night to get some extra money tonight. I understand that quite well, that's why I didn't ask him to remit me money for my daily life.

Last night, one of my female friends whose husband was also in Canada told me that her husband had written her a very warm-hearted letter, which reminded me that Amos hadn't written me anything since this March or some other, I couldn't remember exactly. But I indeed feel that there hasn't been much passion since we got married. He seems to have become less motivated and romantic, comparing to our courtship. I got super mad when Amos told me that the reason why I accused him of being less romantic was I had been too bored and had nothing to do; all what I needed was a job. After hearing this I was totally out of control. How could he say so? I thought he didn't understand my feeling at all. I hysterically yelled at him and hung up the phone, turned off my cell phone and made my home phone engaged.

And then, I felt that I was a little bit wrong. I shouldn't have gotten mad because my husband was also having a hard time just as me. I accepted his call and cried over the phone. I told him I didn't mean to hurt him, it's just because I miss him so much and I also apologized for getting angry and yelling at him.

Later this evening, I told one of my turkish friends that I had been feeling bad during the past few days. My friend said I needed to have a rest. And he told me a very interesting sentence: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is future, today is gift. That's why it's called present.